TGFB- Thank Goodness For Breaks

If I can think of one thing that I am grateful for at this exact moment is that the break is starting tomorrow. My place of work is one of the most frustrating places one could possibly work, at least for an organizer, planner, and schedule driven person like myself. I understand that there are differences of opinion, perspective, and personality when working in any kind of work place, especially a school. The issue is that when the head teacher of a classroom doesn't think (or plan) ahead, you are only welcoming discord, confusion, frustration, anger, and general chaos! What is most disconcerting is that this is not only on the part of the adults and teachers in a room, but also the children. If the adults don't know what is going on then how are the kids supposed to be able to follow the rules when they haven't a clue on what they could be.

What is most frustrating and almost infuriating is that I feel as though my actions, comments, and general presence is being ignored. Yes, I understand that I am not in an official role as "teacher", so says my title and job description, but I often find myself in that role whether I have sought it out or not. What is also interesting to note is that whether I am an official "teacher" or not the kids come to me first, more often than not, to ask for help of any kind. I love these kids and I only want the best for them, but how can I do that when me myself feel powerless, much like them at times. I look at the other classes and teachers around me and I see that what I am trying to do works! I know it does, common sense says it works, all of my training and books I've read say that what I want to happen works. Yes it will take time and it will be hard, but it needs to be done. Who is being hurt by this, certainly not the adults we already (or should) know. It is the kids that are being hurt by this.

What I also find frustrating is that I am not being paid for the work that I am doing with these kids. Instead of dealing with just one student, I have to deal with 20 of them. At least my student is becoming more independent and self-aware so that I don't have to deal with him as much. What a wonderful thing it is to know that at least one student is developing healthy social and academic skills under my direction.

I guess I just need to have my Christmas break where I am not around these people and have time to cool down and maybe think of another plan of action. That is always the hardest thing carrying out the plan and not being cowed by the others. Grow a backbone, that is my Christmas wish.

Doppelgangers

It is often said that there is another person that looks just like you somewhere in the world. Normally I would think much of it. However, for the last while I have been having continued episodes of seeing doppelgangers of certain individuals of my family. It is always the same people. There is a constant need for me to stop and take a double-take just to make sure that it is not who I it is. There have been times when the feelings of joy and confusion flares when my mind registers for that slight moment that it might be that particular person. Only to be disappointed when it connects that it is not who I thought it was only a very good look alike.
After such incidents I have to think why do I keep seeing my family members when I perfectly well that they do not live in the Provo area and that they wouldn't just randomly show up on the street or gym. It seems as though there might be a deeper psychological issue going on. Maybe I am thinking about them in my subconscious and have a need to see them or resolve a conflict regarding them that has been flowing underneath in my subconscious.
Whatever the reason for this doppelganger occurrence once it is resolved I'll be able to go about my life without having to repress the urge to run up and hug a complete stranger or call out a family members name.

Reminders of My Own Human Fragility

These past two weeks have been a real rollercoaster in terms of my overall physical health. Having employment in a school provides me ample opportunities to come in contact with a large number of children in all different stages and types of sick. Fortunately I was given the opportunity to catch one of their many plagues and therefore suffer with a nasty little cold for a week. Then as the cold began to subside and be conquered by my stalwart immune system, whilst another more sinister plague made an assault. The symptoms of this sickness is one of pain and extreme discomfort regarding the lungs, throat, body aches, fever, and when a simple cough or sneeze leaves you totally incapacitated from pain for a space of time. Having dealt with something of this nature last year I found it prudent to go immediately to the doctor and get the required medications to help get rid of it as quickly as humanly possible. However he thinks it to be something else entirely. After a long and not so pleasant visit at the doctors office and an arduously long wait at the pharmacy, I was able to collapse on the couch for several hours before being helped into bed at 9 pm. Fragility

What amazes me is that the prescription and shot the doc gave me didn't really do much to help with the symptoms or my general well being. It was things I already had at home like simple cough syrup, two anti-inflammatories, and 4 hours of unmolested sleep is what did the trick. This is not to mean that what was prescribed by the doctor isn't helping in some way, but my self medicating had a much bigger impact on how I feel in a shorter time period. While I don't always condone self-medicating, sometimes a person knows a better (and less expensive) way help themselves without having the degree to prove it. I just hope that I will be able to defeat this enemy before I have to go to work Monday. If not then it will be a very long Monday.

Preserving the Season

These last few weeks I have been the official "Canner" of the family. Since the mid-summer I have been helping do some form of canning or preserving. This means that the dehydrator has been going constantly and my house is always hot from the canning pot, my counters and floor never seem to rid themselves of the stick from the dripped juices. I have to admit that it has been nice to be able to help store the various types of produce that my in-laws so willingly grow for the family.
While it is true that I am enjoying the time spent filling my home with the inviting smells of apples, sugar, and tomatoes. I am glad that it is drawing to a close. I am finding it difficult to find places to put them. My pantry is ready to start bursting at the seams and putting them on the counter/table just doesn't appear to be the best idea for when guests come.
Despite the lack of storage I am grateful that I have gained a new skill and can preserve on my own and not have to go without. There will be plenty of apple inspired desserts, dried fruits, and tomato based meals, and pear recipes. It will be a great winter.

Not one but two

So it is official, Jake and I are an Aunt and Uncle 12 times over. We have been able to welcome the two newest members to our family over the weekend. Both Jessie and Tiffany delivered their babies on Friday in the same hospital. What are the chances of that? The babies are only about 18 hours apart and they are healthy and happy to be in the world.

It is so nice that we can finally see these precious bundles of joy and be able to hold them in our arms. I know that both the Stanger and Nichols clans are excited to be able to have them with us. Bailey (Scot and Tiff's little girl) is so adorable and small to hold. Garrett has more hair than a baby should have. He is a "gorilla", as Jessie called him, with a full head of dark hair.

I am just so happy that we can know begin to include these new members in our everyday lives and see them growup.

I am such a happy Auntie.