TGFB- Thank Goodness For Breaks

If I can think of one thing that I am grateful for at this exact moment is that the break is starting tomorrow. My place of work is one of the most frustrating places one could possibly work, at least for an organizer, planner, and schedule driven person like myself. I understand that there are differences of opinion, perspective, and personality when working in any kind of work place, especially a school. The issue is that when the head teacher of a classroom doesn't think (or plan) ahead, you are only welcoming discord, confusion, frustration, anger, and general chaos! What is most disconcerting is that this is not only on the part of the adults and teachers in a room, but also the children. If the adults don't know what is going on then how are the kids supposed to be able to follow the rules when they haven't a clue on what they could be.

What is most frustrating and almost infuriating is that I feel as though my actions, comments, and general presence is being ignored. Yes, I understand that I am not in an official role as "teacher", so says my title and job description, but I often find myself in that role whether I have sought it out or not. What is also interesting to note is that whether I am an official "teacher" or not the kids come to me first, more often than not, to ask for help of any kind. I love these kids and I only want the best for them, but how can I do that when me myself feel powerless, much like them at times. I look at the other classes and teachers around me and I see that what I am trying to do works! I know it does, common sense says it works, all of my training and books I've read say that what I want to happen works. Yes it will take time and it will be hard, but it needs to be done. Who is being hurt by this, certainly not the adults we already (or should) know. It is the kids that are being hurt by this.

What I also find frustrating is that I am not being paid for the work that I am doing with these kids. Instead of dealing with just one student, I have to deal with 20 of them. At least my student is becoming more independent and self-aware so that I don't have to deal with him as much. What a wonderful thing it is to know that at least one student is developing healthy social and academic skills under my direction.

I guess I just need to have my Christmas break where I am not around these people and have time to cool down and maybe think of another plan of action. That is always the hardest thing carrying out the plan and not being cowed by the others. Grow a backbone, that is my Christmas wish.